Worst time of day...

3:00-5:00

Officially the worst time of the day.

One kid forgot his math book at school
One kid is whining about the radio not being as good as Pandora. (Stupid Commercials)
One kid deciding to make a facial scrub in her bedroom with a friend which involves
an avocado, a bowl o milk and Greek yogurt. On the carpet.

And I still have 6 more hours, at least, where I have to be responsive to other human beings.

*sigh*

ALS Fundraiser

This is Ashlynn's project she has been working on for months now. She really wanted to do something to honor Grandma Caroline in her own way. We hope you can join us! There will be cupcakes, cookies, free lemonade and lots of other goodies! Tell your friends and let me know if you'd like to help by donating any baked goods!

Why I Could Use a Little Chocolate...

So it's been 4 weeks since we started this new adventure where Brian lives somewhere else during the week and only comes home on weekends. I'm not sure I can even think of anything clever to say, I'm so exhausted, so I'll just lay it out for you:

Week 1: I was running on adrenaline and faith and the week went surprisingly well.

Week 2: This week was post-bank failure so I was reeling with the emotional backlash of 12 years hard work with nothing to show for it. Any savings and retirement are gone. Add to that a huge lack of respect and ignorance from the community and you get one angry week.

Week 3: I'd like to call this the jaded week. This was the week I said, "Brian? Brian who? Are you talking about my husband? I'm doing just fine on my own. Who needs a companion?"

Week 4 (the present): Never mind what I said last week. I'm lonely. I'm impatient. I'm over my kids.

So now that I've laid out my raw emotions for all of the blogosphere to read and judge, I will tell you that despite my complaints, I know that what we are doing is the right thing, and because of that some blessings have come.

I have been empowered and able to do things that I normally wouldn't do if Brian were here. Today one such task involved a crescent wrench, a socket wrench, and a Makita drill. I fixed a fence and I fixed it good.

I've dealt with sub-contractors and gotten some drywall work done in the garage.

I've dealt with real estate agents, and quite frankly, gotten this house ready and on the market by myself. If this house sells (and I stress the if ) it will be because of my efforts. That may sound arrogant and self-centered, but that is only because of my weak mastery of the written language, because it's supposed to sound confidant.

That is another blessing. I don't normally do confidant.

Up until recently, I've done ok with the kids. I've been able to pace myself and they have really stepped up to the plate. But recently, I find myself feeling pecked to death by the incessant questions because I'm the only one around to answer them. When I texted Brian how tired I was of the questions (because that's how we communicate) he cutely responded, "I'm realizing that smart kids come at a price." Cute. But no consolation when you are expected to answer simultaneously, and in rapid fire, questions like:

"Mom, what color do you get when you mix blue and purple?"
"Mom, how close together were your contractions right before you had me?"
"Mom, what happens if you shoot a monster?"
"Mom, what time of day was I born?"
"Mom, what were the last five books you have read?"
"Mom, do you have an unlimited amount of money on you debit card, or do you eventually run out of money?"
"Mom, where's my (insert 5 million nouns)?"


And what's the first thing I hear in the morning when I wake up in my lonely cold bed?

"Mom?"





You do realize that's a question, right?


(For those just tuning in, the bank Brian worked for here in San Luis Obispo for the past 12 years was recently taken over by the FDIC. Because of that he was forced to take a new job in the Sacramento area. The job started one month ago, but we decided that the kids and I would stay behind in order to finish school and get the house sold. So Brian lives with my parents during the week and comes home on weekends so we can try and act like a normal family for a couple of days. Once school is over, we will be moving the family to the Sacramento area, or more specifically, Elk Grove. We think.)

Ty's Tour of the House

Big B and Little T during a tour of Hearst Castle this weekend

We are putting our house on the market this week.

So Ty has heard a lot of real estate talk. When he had a little friend over for the first time this past week, I suggested he give his friend a tour of the house. After what I heard, maybe we should use Ty as our listing agent.

It was obvious which parts of the house were most important to him:

"Here's our pantry... here's where we keep our paints. . . Here's our bathroom. . . Oh! Just a second. I have to go potty. . ."

"This is our guest room. When my Nana and Papa or Auntie or Grandma and Grandpa come, they sleep in here and put their suitcases here. My Grandma died, though. This sickness came for her, so she couldn't breathe so she had breathing machines."

"Your tour is going upstairs. No touching the exhibits. . . Just kidding. I don't have any exhibits." (all said in a very serious tone.)

"Here's our other bathroom. I need to go poo poo. I have Superman underwear."

How do you think potential buyers would respond to a tour like that?!

Fire In My Bones!

Ty just informed me that the reason her beat me to the mail box was because he had "fire in his bones that gave him power".

I would like some of that fire in my bones right now.

Today marks week two of having Brian working out of town and me playing single mother. Last week went alright. The kids really stepped up and I didn't go bananas. But I think that was partially because it was still a novelty. I was really excited when Brian finally came home, though.

The excitement didn't last long, however. On Friday night the FDIC came in and took over the bank. San Luis Trust Bank no longer exist. It has fallen victim to the "awesomeness" that is our economy and those fabulously fair and consistent federal examiners.

(Insert sarcasm sign here...)

Yes, Brian has a new job, but he has been with Trust bank since before they opened their doors 12 years ago, so the hostile and surreal takeover that happened this weekend was quite an emotional blow. The FDIC asked him to come in and work over the weekend to help them balance the books for the new bank that is taking over. At first I think Brian needed to be apart of what was going on. By Sunday afternoon, he grew tired of the intense and interrogative environment and told them he was done.

D.o.n.e.

You will have to ask him about the whole situation because nothing I write would do it justice. Suffice it to say, it was dramatic.

We just hope most of the remaining employees will be able to find employment, whether at the new bank or elsewhere. This kind of closure can be devastating to a community.

Onward and upward! There is nothing like the loss of a loved one, a job loss and telling your kids they are moving happening all in one month to build some character!

"The Winds of Change" Finally Revealed

A random shot my SIL shot at Thanksgiving of the cousins. I love it!

So many changes have been happening in our lives that I have found it difficult to keep up with my blogging. The things we have been dealing with have left me overwhelmed, and to be honest, made blogging seem very low on the priority list. Brian's mom's illness and passing were so emotionally charged and all encompassing that it was hard to put all of that feeling into a trivial blog post.
But the loss of Grandma Caroline hasn't been the only major life changing event we have been having to deal with. Brian has worked at San Luis Trust Bank since the day they opened their doors 11 years ago. He spent so much time there I would have to correct my children, when we would drive by and they would say, "That's where Daddy lives!"

Friday was his last day at San Luis Trust Bank as the controller.

Today, Brian started a new job at the Bank of Rio Vista.

What does this mean? It means Brian will be gone four days of the week while I am here alone with the kids. It means that me and the kids will remain here in SLO to finish school and hopefully sell our house (any takers?). It means we will be closer to my family when we move to Sacramento! It means we have to change our entire lifestyle by leaving a place we have lived longer than any other in our lives - where all of our children were born- and that has been recently celebrated as the "Happiest Town in America" to start a new life.

Cool and scary.

It means that maybe my blog posts will be more frequent and filled with mundane happenings of the day in order to fill my husband in on what he is missing!

In a Life Boat With a Tiger

Have you ever read " Life of Pi"? It's a story about a boy who gets stuck on a life boat with a tiger named Richard Parker. However, he doesn't know at first the tiger is there. He thinks there is only a hyena on board.

I just read the following passage and immediately related to it. It made me laugh, and laughing is a good thing right now.

Here's what the narrator, Pi, has to say"

"You might think I’d lost all hope at that point. I did. And as a result, I perked up and felt much better.

We see that in sports all the time, don’t we? The tennis challenger starts strong but soon looses confidence in his playing. The champion racks up the games. But in the final set, when the challenger has nothing to lose, he becomes relaxed again, insouciant, daring. Suddenly, he’s playing like the devil, and the champion must work hard to get those last points.

So it was with me. To cope with a hyena seemed remotely possible, but I was so obviously outmatched by Richard Parker, that it wasn’t even worth worrying about. With a tiger aboard, my life was over. That being settled, why not do something about my parched throat."

There are times in our lives when we are stuck on a life boat with a 500 pound Tiger. This is one of those times for me. Do I know how to deal with a Tiger? No. I know nothing about Tigers.

So instead, I'm going to just enjoy the boat ride and let the Tiger do what he wants.

A wise woman recently told me that once you figure out God is in control, and not us, life gets easier.

So here's me, handing over the reigns...

August

I had a friend in college who had a car that didn't drive in reverse at all. She had to find parking spots that she could pull through or else get help in pushing the car out of the spot. We both decided to make this a motto for life. Forward! No turning back. If you want to get somewhere, you have to move forward!

So...

Just got back from a month... I mean a week... at girls camp. I've got a couple birthday parties this week to navigate, back to school prep, a couple of Primary events to work on... more girls camp paperwork to do. When I put it that way it doesn't sound too bad.(I'm being serious. No Bazinga here.)

I'm guess I'm just not ready to let go of summer. I like being free. Once the kids are in school, I'll have some free hours in the morning off to myself, but once they come home in the afternoons, everything kicks into overdrive. Emergency cards in duplicate to fill out, homework to navigate, carpools to configure, and high flying emotions that always accompany the great amount of change that a new school year brings. I'm not sure If I'm ready to tackle it.

I guess I don't really have a choice.

Forward!

What happened here?!?